Saturday, 25 May 2013

All is profanity


I speculated a while back about the first person to say 'fuck' on the radio - see here.

It was the critic Kenneth Tynan who first said the f-word on television, in 1965 (See here). The second person to do so was, I have just found out, the distinguished journalist, writer and broadcaster Peregrine (now Sir Peregrine) Worsthorne, former editor of the Sunday Telegraph. I have no idea of the context, but if it was during Songs of Praise I'd like to shake him by the hand and buy him a drink

Things went quiet until the fondly-remembered encounter between ITV presenter Bill Grundy and a scowling group of punk jackanapes including Johnny Rotten and Siouxsie Sioux, on 1st December 1976. This prime-time interview caused a great deal of outrage and a prompted a memorable headline in the following day's Daily Mirror: 


Image © Mirror Group Newspapers


This amused me at the time (and still does) because those wonderfully pompous definite articles suggest some kind of platonic filth and definitive fury, out there for the channelling, biding their time, as in The Power and the Glory or The Sorrow and the Pity or The Agony and the Ecstasy (and finally, but I could go on) The Bad and the Beautiful. And spare a thought for Bill Grundy (1923-1993), whose career was wrecked by two minutes of muttered profanity by the gormless Steve Jones.

Still no closer to establishing who first wireless utterance of 'fuck'. Any suggestions?

Thursday, 23 May 2013

The global race


I lost count of how many times the Prime Minister used the phrase 'the global race' in a lengthy radio interview earlier this week, but it was at least half a dozen, perhaps more. He used it to suggest that we are, as a nation and as individuals, participants in this highly-competitive, international race and we all have to do everything we can to win it.

What race is that? When did it start? When and how will it end? Who are the competitors? Who judges the winners, and what do they win? And what about the losers? Are there prizes for those who come second? Third? What rules, if any, govern participation? Can cheats be disqualified? 

Of course there is no global race and never has been. There's global competition, of course, involving what some romantic economists used to call 'market forces', and there's that even more cobwebby expression 'the class struggle'. What there isn't is a race. Or, if you insist on the dull analogy, if there is a race it's a race we've long since lost and we're sitting by the track, breathlessly knackered. Or, rather, there is a race but we're not even invited to take part as the Asian super economies sprint to the finish, watched from the dilapidated grandstand by superannuated runners with only their memories for company.

What's lost in today's political rhetoric is any degree of intelligence or originality. Left or right it's the same slick balls, articulated in those oh-so-predictable tri-partite chunks because that's how they've been taught to speak by consultants - and because tripartite chunks are effective, they're efficient and above all they're memorable. And one has to wonder whether our political leaders use this shagged-out old trope because they think it's effective (in which case they're stupid) or because they think we fall for it (in which case they're even more stupid). Because while tripartite chunks and 'race' metaphors appear to have the form of thought they have no substantial content because they lack what linguists call 'propositional value'. So Cameron can peddle his fluent twaddle and talk and talk and do his breathless keen-as-mustard giggle and yet never say anything.

For more on Cameron's pisspoor rhetoric click HERE

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

William Burroughs on film

Well blow me down. This blog comes to you on the day its readership reaches 10,000 (and 18, to be accurate). That's a cumulative total, to be sure, but I seem to be attracting (if that's the word) a hardcore (if that's also the word) daily readership of around 250. We should all meet. No, really. Let me think of a venue. We all have a lot in common, clearly, and there's so much we need to discuss.

Of course, if the entire readership turned up we'd have to move into a bigger place at short notice, or have a series of events spread over several days, or weeks. Then there's transport, catering, security and an events licence. Gawd.

So - here's today's short film, which regular readers expect of a Wednesday. This was brought to my attention by my friend David Holzer. Towers Open Fire (1963) - a nine-minute short written by, and featuring, the talented William Burroughs.



Monday, 20 May 2013

On benefits

Here's a question: what percentage of our nation's welfare budget goes to the unemployed in the form of Jobseeker's Allowance?

a.    3 per cent
b.   30 per cent
c.   50 per cent
d.   75 per cent

The answer comes at the end of this blog

You might think from what Tory politicians say that our benefits system has a huge budget largely spent (or frittered away) on the unemployed and disabled (or the workshy and malingerers, if you read and believe the Daily Mail, but if you do that you're unlikely to have read this far.)
The Department for Work and Pensions has plenty of cash at its disposal. It's the biggest-spending government department in the UK, with a budget allocation of £166.98bn in 2011-12. 

It's also true that, of this enormous sum, £159bn was spent on benefits during that period, representing 23% of all public spending (up 1.1% on the previous year). But many people assume that most of the DWP's spending goes on unemployment or incapacity benefit. (Indeed, according to a recent TUC poll, 41% of people think that the entire welfare budget goes to unemployed people.)


The truth, not much in circulation, is that half of UK benefit spending actually goes on state pensions - £74.22bn a year, a lot more than the £48.2bn we spend on servicing our national debt.
That allocation is followed at some distance by Housing Benefit (£16.94bn) and Disability Living Allowance (£12.57bn).

Jobseeker's Allowance, perhaps surprisingly, is one of the smaller benefit allocations – £4.91bn in 2011-12, a trifling 3% of the total benefits bill. So the next time some adenoidal policy wonk from a Conservative think-tank bangs on about 'unsustainable' benefits for those most in need I expect you to shout something at the radio (or television, if you insist). Use your imagination. There's a prize for the rudest entry.



Friday, 17 May 2013

Favourite snatches (4)



Today's favourite snatch comes from John Buchan's 1915 novel The Thirty-Nine Steps. The hero Richard Hannay, on the run, encounters a solitary workman on a remote country road in the Scottish highlands. They agree to exchange identities, the workman to sleep off a hangover and Hannay to evade his pursuers. It's one of several exchanges in the course of the story - Hannay loves dressing up and dissembling.



I borrowed his spectacles and filthy old hat; stripped off coat, waistcoat, and collar, and gave him them to carry home; borrowed, too, the foul stump of a clay pipe as an extra property. He indicated my simple tasks, and without more ado set off at an amble bedwards.  Bed may have been his chief object, but I think there was also something left in the foot of a bottle. I prayed that he might be safe undercover before my friends arrived on the scene.

Then I set to work to dress for the part. I opened the collar of my shirt--it was a vulgar blue-and-white check such as ploughmen wear--and revealed a neck as brown as any tinker's. I rolled up my sleeves, and there was a forearm which might have been a blacksmith's, sunburnt and rough with old scars. I got my boots and trouser-legs all white from the dust of the road, and hitched up my trousers, tying them with string below the knee. Then I set to work on my face. With a handful of dust I made a water-mark round my neck, the place where Mr Turnbull's Sunday ablutions might be expected to stop.  I rubbed a good deal of dirt also into the sunburn of my cheeks. A roadman's eyes would no doubt be a little inflamed, so I contrived to get some dust in both of mine, and by dint of vigorous rubbing produced a bleary effect.

The sandwiches Sir Harry had given me had gone off with my coat, but the roadman's lunch, tied up in a red handkerchief, was at my disposal. I ate with great relish several of the thick slabs of scone and cheese and drank a little of the cold tea. In the handkerchief was a local paper tied with string and addressed to Mr Turnbull--obviously meant to solace his mid-day leisure. I did up the bundle again, and put the paper conspicuously beside it.

My boots did not satisfy me, but by dint of kicking among the stones I reduced them to the granite-like surface which marks a roadman's foot-gear. Then I bit and scraped my finger-nails till the edges were
all cracked and uneven. The men I was matched against would miss no detail. I broke one of the bootlaces and retied it in a clumsy knot, and loosed the other so that my thick grey socks bulged over the uppers.  Still no sign of anything on the road.  The motor I had observed half an hour ago must have gone home.

My toilet complete, I took up the barrow and began my journeys to and from the quarry a hundred yards off.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

The N-word of the 'Narcissus'



Thinking about the Narcissus legend prompts a reflection on a fine book by a great writer with, alas, a problematic title.




The Nigger of the 'Narcissus': A Tale of the Sea (1897) is a novella by Joseph Conrad. It concerns James Wait, a black sailor from the West Indies who contracts tuberculosis during a sea voyage, and the reactions of the crew, who at one point risk their lives to rescue him from his cabin during a fierce storm. Their humane and selfless courage is contrasted with the ship's inflexible captain and an old salt named Singleton, who attend only to their duties and have no interest in the fate of the sick man. The 'Narcissus', like Melville's 'Pequod', is an allegorical vessel. What interests the author is the value of the crew's self-sacrifice and the humanity that binds us all. It is not, of course, a racist novel.

The book was originally published in the United States as The Children of the Sea: A Tale of the Forecastle, the American publisher, Dodd, Mead and Company insisting  that no one would buy or read a book with the word 'nigger' in its title. This was not because the word was deemed offensive but because they felt that any book ostensibly about a black man would be unlikely to sell.

In time the two titles became confused:




In 2009 WordBridge Publishing issued a new edition as The N-Word of the Narcissus, claiming optimistically that this would make the book 'more accessible'. Why didn't they simply use the original American title?

It's a great shame that many readers (and, one assumes, publishers) are put off this profoundly humanitarian story by its title. Conrad's suppressed Preface includes the following passage, in which he outlines a writer's desire to appeal to 'our sense of pity, and beauty, and pain; to the latent feeling of fellowship with all creation--and to the subtle but invincible conviction of solidarity that knits together the loneliness of innumerable hearts, to the solidarity in dreams, in joy, in sorrow, in aspirations, in illusions, in hope,  in fear, which binds men to each other, which binds together all humanity--the dead to the living and the living to the unborn.'

As far as the N-word is concerned (and should it always be capitalised, or is that adding injury to insult?) there's a low-voltage debate surrounding its non-appearance in the forthcoming remake of The Dambusters, a film based on Paul Brickhill's account of Operation Chastise, the RAF's wartime attack on the dams of the Ruhr Valley, using the ingenious bouncing bomb invented (as every schoolboy used to know) by Barnes-Wallis. In the original 1955 film (and in real life) Wing Commander Guy Gibson's black labrador was called Nigger, and the dog's name was part of the radio code message confirming that the strategically critical target of the Möhne dam had been breached. Stephen Fry, who has written the screenplay, re-names the dog 'Digger', saying by way of explanation 'no question in America that you could ever have a dog called the N-word". Fair enough, but this prompts and deserves a reflective 'Hmmm'.

Hmmm. It seems that in the States the only living creatures who can legitimately be addressed thus are human beings, and more particularly African Americans, at least in certain contexts such as stand-up comedy and Quentin Tarantino movies (see below). Fry is not being unreasonable, although I'm unsure why he singles out America, as if the word as applied to a dog would be acceptable elsewhere. In any case he might have chosen a name less phonetically similar to the offending word. Fido, perhaps, or Muffin. Perhaps he and the film-makers are straining at gnats and swallowing camels here and missing the point that there are other N-words every bit as offensive as the one we tip-toe so carefully around - Nazi and Nazism for instance. The courageous young airmen of the RAF were fighting an enemy prosecuting more vigorous and vicious forms of racism than we can easily imagine today. The Nazis had it in for everyone, of course. Perhaps another film-maker would explore this, rather than revise a trivial if historically undeniable detail which (one optimistically assumes) is unlikely to give offence to anyone with a sense of proportion.  Of course a sense of proportion isn't a common currency, but the fact remains that the word is unacceptable now (and that's not worth debating) but it wasn't then, or at least not in this canine context. One didn't give labrador dogs deliberately offensive names. Many of these young airmen were also smokers, for heaven's sake. What are we to make of that? And come to that we no longer routinely bomb the shit out of German factories, or tackle U-boats in the North Atlantic. But you get my point.

Conrad's title uses the word inoffensively, as he takes pains to explain in his introduction. The airmen of Operation Chastise used what was in their day and from their perspective a less offensive word than it is today, and used it inoffensively. In Django Unchained, the latest film by Quentin Tarantino, the now-offensive word is used very offensively over a hundred times. Context is what counts, and common sense (which, as Mark Twain pointed out, is what we use after we've exhausted the alternatives).

These alternatives are being noisily explored by hacks at the Daily Mail. The rag recently reported the decision by BBC radio producers to cut the line 'one less white nigger' from Elvis Costello's Oliver's Army, a blistering anti-war song from 1979, and one that has been transmitted uncut countless times over the past thirty years. Amusingly the Mail's blustering self-righteous denunciaion of the politically-correct lefties at the Beeb censoring free speech did not extend to them printing 'the N-word' in full in their report.

Let's agree that, like tuberculosis, it's part of our history and has no place in modern life. But to deny that tuberculosis was a scourge in the past by eliminating its appearance in contemporary medical documents is asking for trouble.



Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Danish road safety film

The Danish director Carl Th. Dreyer (the Th. stands for Theodore) is one of the very greatest of all film makers - The Passion of Joan of Arc, Vampyr, Day of Wrath and Gertrud are his masterpieces. He may no longer excite the interest of young cinephiles to the extent that he once did, but his atmospheric, melancholy and poetic films demand regular re-viewing. He handles mist and light like no other director - Vampyr in particular is a study in dissolution that still chills the blood.

In 1948 he made a series of road safety films for the Danish government. Here's one of them: They Caught the Ferry.

Now I know what you're thinking: "A road safety film? In Danish?" Trust me. Take the phone off the hook (if you still have that type of phone), put your feet up (if you still have those kind of feet) and enjoy eleven nerve-shredding minutes of motorcycle angst.