Beckett and Éluard

Beckett was a productive translator of other poets, including Apollinaire, Breton, Montale and Rimbaud. He had a particular affinity with surrealist writers, notably Paul Éluard (1895 - 1952), and here's an Éluard poem with a well-known second line. It's followed by three English translations, one of them by Beckett.

À Peine Défigurée

Adieu tristesse,

Bonjour tristesse.

Tu es inscrite dans les lignes du plafond.

Tu es inscrite dans les yeux que j’aime

Tu n’es pas tout à fait la misère,

Car les lèvres les plus pauvres te dénoncent

Par un sourire.

Bonjour tristesse.

Amour des corps aimables.

Puissance de l’amour

Dont l’amabilité surgit

Comme un monstre sans corps.

Tête désappointée.

Tristesse, beau visage.

Now here's an adequate translation appearing anonymously on the internet, which oddly retains, and then translates the first two lines:

Barely Disfigured

Adieu Tristesse

Bonjour Tristesse

Farewell Sadness

Hello Sadness

You are inscribed in the lines on the ceiling

You are inscribed in the eyes that I love

You are not poverty absolutely

Since the poorest of lips denounce you

Ah with a smile

Bonjour Tristesse

Love of kind bodies

Power of love

From which kindness rises

Like a bodiless monster

Unattached head

Sadness beautiful face

Now here's the Beckett translation:

Scarcely Disfigured

Farewell sadness

Greeting sadness

Thou art inscribed in the lines of the ceiling

Thou art inscribed in the eyes that I love

Thou art not altogether want

For the poorest lips denounce thee

Smiling

Greeting sadness

Love of the bodies that are lovable

Mightiness of love that lovable

Starts up as a bodiless beast

Head of hope defeated

Sadness countenance of beauty

Beckett's version prompts a number of thoughts, starting with that second line, which had been adopted by Françoise Sagan as the title of her hugely popular 1954 novel. (Beckett's translation was first published in 1966, so he may well have wanted to avoid the associations of the best-selling book). The editors of Beckett's Collected Poems, Sean Lawlor and John Pilling, call Beckett's version of the second line 'rather strained' and suggest that 'greetings might have been expected'.

This is wrong on two counts. 'Greetings sadness' is phonetically undesirable, with the adjacent 's' sounds creating an ugly hissing elision. More importantly Lawlor and Pilling overlook the secondary meaning of 'greeting', from the Scottish verb 'greet', meaning to weep. Beckett, I suggest, was aware of this and a 'greeting sadness' is cognate with a 'crying shame'. As an alternative my blog title would work in both cases, as Salvēte can mean equally 'Hail' and 'Farewell', like the Italian ciao.

The title, 'Scarcely Disfigured' reminds me of a Beckett story, although I can't recall where I first heard it. Beckett was working on a German television production of his play Eh Joe and was approached by the director with a question. Beckett's stage directions specified that a door in the background should be 'imperceptibly ajar'. What exactly did this mean? The two men crossed the set to the door (which was what's called a 'practical', i.e functioning prop) and the director tried various degrees of ajar-ness. Like this? No. Like this? No. How's this?  

Beckett stepped forward and closed the door with an audible click. 'The door,' he said, 'is now imperceptibly ajar.'

Before closing this blog with an audible click I'd like to throw my hat in the ring with my own translation of the Éluard poem, which may be better than the internet version but is not a patch on Beckett's:

So long sadness

Hello sadness

You're graven in the lines overhead

You're graven in the eyes I love

You're not wholly poor

Though poorest lips deny you,

Smiling.

Hello sadness
Lover of bodies beloved
And the grave energy of love
From which kindness rises
A bodiless creature
The head on a thread,
A sad, a beautiful face.

Mneh. Needs work.

Beckett translation © The Estate of Samuel Beckett